The Secret of a Family Plan, or Nam Kiều the love bug.

Khi phải tiếp quản việc chi tiêu của Family Plan vì Nam Kiều kì này study abroad ở UK, tôi chẳng thế biết mình sẽ phát hiện nhiều điều bí mật dấu kín và quên lãng lâu nay . . .




To: Colgate Vietnamese Student fake Association.
From: Anh Le, Interim Managerial Administrative Associate Executive Officer, Phone Family Plan Inc.
Subject: Monthly Assessment of Volume of Short Message Service (SMS) transmitted.

(Refer to the attached chart for corresponding details.)
Source: American Telephone & Telegraph. Bill Summary Service. Oct. 2, 2009. <;.

Below is a thorough investigation into the volume of communication conducted by Nam Kieu, Former Managerial Administrative Associate Executive Officer, Phone Family Plan Inc., in the form of SMS, which transpired during the period Dec. ’08 – May. ’09. The data is juxtaposed with that of Anh Le, Incumbent Managerial Administrative Associate Executive Officer, Phone Family Plan Inc., to provide an accurate apprehension of scale.

Analysis of Nam Kieu’s traffic:

– Oct. ’08 and Nov. ’08: Life is boring still … The highly suppressed traffics of SMS observed in both cases insinuates that Nam Kieu and Anh Le were in comparable situation, i.e. hem có người yêu.
– Dec. ’08: A sudden influx of transmission heralded change, yet not much.
– Jan. ’09: The volume of Nam Kieu’s correspondence abruptly skyrocketed to 135. Evidences strongly suggested his increased dụ hàng activities during Winter Break.
– Feb. ’09: The level of transmission dropped unexpectedly to 37. Probably dụ mãi mà hàng hem về.
– Mar. ’09: A dream bordered on actuality. Does 106 messages a month during school session suggest the presence of a girl friend? Inconclusively so. But the euphoria written all over his face clearly does.
– Apr. ’09: OMFG! 288 msg/ month? 9.6 msg/day? (not to mention they often fight, i.e. no texting for half the month.) I suppose such voluminous amount of correspondence would include such intimate details of one’s life, e.g. “Anh xuống (đồi) đây, em.” “Anh chuẩn bị lên (đồi) em nhé” “Thê bây giờ em thích anh lên hay xuống?”
– May. ’09: Before summer hit he managed to transmit 166 messages still. Summer was exciting after all. Can finally touch, (oops I mean meet), her.

Analysis of Anh Le’s traffic:
– Past to Oct. ’08 to Present: hem có người yêu.


This is the third part of my ongoing self-satirical Colgate series, friendly dubbed Weekend Entertainment. You’re a Colgate kid? You’ll sure be on my series one day. See more at:

Weekend Entertainment (Part 1) – Colgate Visit, or Hiep Tran the playboy.

Weekend Entertainment (Part 2) – Hieu Luu ♥ Hien Trang one-year anniversary

Weekend Entertainment (Part 3) – The Secret of a Family Plan, or Nam Kiều the love bug.


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